Since real communication has almost completely shifted to the Internet, such a phenomenon as love through chatting on dating sites has become relevant to a large number of people. The number of virtual affairs has grown even more since social networks appeared. Now virtual love often competes with traditional relationships.
The main danger of virtual dating on dating sites has two aspects:
- your virtual girlfriend from dating site may not be who she claims, but that you begin to idealize her and exaggerate her image
- without being able to her in person, her facial expressions, gestures and without hearing her voice, your imagination “conceals” all the details.
Why is this happening? The desire to meet the perfect partner distracts many men from the sober analysis of a person sitting on the other side of a computer screen. You do not see the negative qualities of the virtual girlfriend. In addition, for many men it is much easier to write endorsements online than to say it in real life. In this way, the virtual girlfriend has time to find the right words.
This is why your online penpal may seem better than any person you see in real life. The idealization of the virtual girlfriend makes you believe in the dream, so it is much easier to fall in love with it.
Companion effect. An important factor contributing to the birth of a special closeness between the interlocutors of correspondence is the so-called “companion effect”. Its essence is that it is easier for us to trust many secrets to an unfamiliar person, knowing that we will not meet her again, and that person will not affect our further life.
In the case of online chatting, you just trust the person your secrets and receive the same in return. So there is a sense of closeness. Only, unlike a train companion, the virtual girlfriend stays close, and you continue to share your thoughts and feelings with her. If the “soul mate” appears on the other side of the screen, you find a response to your emotions and experiences. There is an open emotional exchange that people lack in real life.
Dependence on emotions. Being able to share a secret is a feeling that generates addiction that is sometimes compared to a drug addiction. If for some reason the letter does not arrive on time or the person does not appear online, then feelings related to the expectation are described by people as breaking.
When chatting online, people become addicted to the emotions they receive by reading another person’s letter. And most emotions are made up by the man himself. There is a feeling that no one else is capable of causing such experiences.
Reasons. At a distance, emotions begin to go wild because of the inability to obtain bodily contact. Frustration due to the inability to feel real closeness to a person every day nourishes the feelings.
Frustration is called a psychological state that arises in a situation where a person is unable to meet his or her needs and is experiencing a strong emotional experience. And strong emotions, whether positive or negative, create a kind of “anchor”.
Real meeting. The sooner a real meeting takes place the less false impressions you will have about each other. It will show where the truth and where – the fiction. In this case, you should be prepared for any scenario.
Only after a real meeting, virtual and real communication may successfully complement each other for a while. The main feature of a healthy relationship between virtual partners is a mutual willingness to bring the relationship into real life. If your partner avoids a real meeting in every way, then you should urgently try to overcome your addiction, as it will interfere with building a real relationship.
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